Judging Others:
One cannot know someone else's spiritual level: niether by seeing their
actions, nor by measuring how much pain life (God) has gven them.
Not judging others even by their actions: Although a person's actions
may seem reprehensible, they may be perfect relative to what they could
have been expected to do. One cannot even deny perfection to the
practitioner of great anti-social behavior: for example a child born
among thieves and murderers who knows no better, but struggles mightily
against the overwhelming forces of environment and conditioning and
manages to murder quite a bit less than one would have imagined
possible under the crcumstances, can be a 'holy murderer'.
Not judging others according to how much pain life (God) has given them:
Job (Iyov) was perfect (God testifies to this) and never sinned and yet
was given to suffer. Of course most of us are not perfect, but
nevertheless one cannot look at a person’s pain in life, and then
hear of their mistakes and transgressions, and say that the pain is a
result of their transgressions, whether as a punishment or as a result,
since it may well be that the transgressions occurred as an unavoidable
result of their life situation (child born among thieves), the external
facts of heredity environment life-history (twisted parents), and the
internal circumstances of innate inner psychology etc. Even if they do
things such that if you did them you would consider yourself an evil
person deserving of punishment, you cannot make the same assumption
about others. (Nor should you about yourself.) Maybe they acted with
great courage and self sacrifice all along, and the pain is the result
of suffering they do not deserve (from the human moral perspective)
just as in the case of Job.
[Note: Job was considered perfect by God without keeping the mitzvot, he
was not Jewish, so one cannot assume that the Jewish approach equates
perfection for all with the fulfilment of mitzvot.]
Two Meanings of the word 'Judging'
There are two related but very different meanings of the word
'Judging': determining a person's moral level, and finding them guilty
in court.
The Torah tells us to create fair courts of law and apprehend murderers
- one can understand the possibility that the person is a 'holy
murderer', and yet nevertheless convict them of murder, and put them in
jail. We are commanded to judge them, but not to 'judge' them.
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Levels and Types of Respect
We can respect murderers as human beings at the same time that we put
them behind bars. We don't respect their right to murder, nor to be
free, but we do repect their dignity as human beings (created in the
image of God).
One can respect every human being, even the lowliest, without
'respecting' their attributes such as low intelligence, negligible
artistic ability etc; one can respect the abilities of a high intellect
or great artist without respecting their deeds or beliefs. One can
respect the right of a person to have and express an opinion, without
respecting the opinion; one can respect a person whose integrity one
accepts, and repsect their motives, without respecting their opinions;
or if the person is a hypocrite sycophant expressing noble opinions to
curry favor, we can respect the opinion, without respecting the
person expressing it.
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Two Meanings the word 'respect'
One type of respect is that which I fell towards someone whose ability
surpasses mine in certain areas (respect in the sense of
'accomplishment'), another type is accorded to any human being I do not
actively dislike (respect in the sense of 'human being').
Women often feel a basic attraction to a man only if they can respect
him in the sense of accomplishment, whereas the respect they need
from their man is that he respect them in the sense of human being.
Confusion between these two meanings leads to misunderstandings in
discussions between men and women.